I’m in day 1 of what’s turning into a very painful process with O2’s insurance sub-contracted call-centre, The Listening Company. The irony of their name will become apparent. I also note with irony O2′s new ‘PR’ campaign “Banishing the Narks and Niggles”… doing away with underhanded practices and cheating customers. Oh dear…

So, a short history. I’m a business customer with O2. I swapped from Vodafone to get an iPhone early 2009. My iPhone appeared with a big crack one day, March time maybe. I keep it in my back pocket and must have sat on and cracked it… or it was in bag and got trodden on. Either way, it didn’t look good. The metal rim split and the screen popped off. I snapped it back in and soldiered on with fluff a crumbs accumulating under the touch screen for a few months until  I figured enough is enough, let’s try that expensive insurance and get this sorted. At this point I should say I’ve been paying for insurance since 1997 and never claimed a penny. So this was my first time.

I call O2. All good. They transfer me to The Listening Company. 45 mins later, still on hold, now 6.25pm I give up.

Next day, I call O2. They put me through to The Listening Company. 25 Minutes later, “Fatima” picks up the call.

It went something like this:

Fatima: Did you drop your phone?

Me: Nope

Fatima: How it is damaged?

Me: It has a big crack in the case and the screen pops out

Fatima: How did this happen?

Me: I’m not sure exactly, it must have been in my pocket and I sat on it and has been getting worse over the last 4 months.

Fatima: Ok, so I’ve rejected your claim due to wear and tear. There is a plan you can buy…

No matter how much I questioned her on her reasoning for this wear and tear decision out of the blue, she wouldn’t give any information. I was expecting to have a few more questions, maybe even give a detailed description of what was wrong. But the “computer says no” Fatima had ruled. It seems “damage” automatically becomes “wear and tear” if you don’t do anything about it at the time. Clearly bonkers but the key point is that as soon a Fatima pressed the “no” button, that was it. She wasn’t authorised to unpress it. That was that. Doesn’t matter if you subsequently clear up the confusion… it’s done. On your file. Case closed.

I asked to speak to a manager. Fatima assured me there wasn’t one. After a little back and forth, she said, “If you don’t agree, you’ll have to take it up with my manager, I’ll go and get him”… silence… Me: “So you lied to me?”… Fatima : “No I didn’t. Please hold while I get him”.

So I speak to the manager who was perfectly civil and I explain what a model employee Fatima was but that I didn’t think she was helping the company’s image much. Manager explains that he will review the recorded call and let me know later in the afternoon.

Yep, you guessed it. Nothing happens..

Later that day, I call O2. They put me through to The Listening Company. 35 Minutes later, still on hold, I give up.

I’ll will update this post as and when it happens.

However, in the meantime, I thought I’d share some tips on what I’ve learnt during my first claim, other than never use O2′s insurance…
So, assuming you have insurance…

• The insurance is dealt with by a separate company whose sole job is seemingly to not pay out a claim wherever possible. The ‘wear and tear” clause seems to be their best friend.
• First, remember all calls are recorded and are used to settle disputes, so be nice but annoyingly specific when needed.
• Before you start the conversation, I’d suggest you agree very specifically that you want the operator to summarise the entire claim evidence verbally before they make an assessment to double-check that you are happy that the evidence you have given is complete.
• Once they press the ‘computer says no’ button, this can’t be undone and I assume the record stays on your file. Hence why it’s important to feel you had the chance to say EVERYTHING you felt was appropriate and they have repeated it back to you.
• Assuming your was dropped and cracked… if they ask you ‘did you drop it’, say yes. Go straight to claim.
• If they ask you how it got damaged, give it both barrels. Don’t give them any cause to try and call it wear and tear. Don’t lie (obviously) but it seems you have to be as blunt and dramatic as possible of jolt them out of automatically classing it as wear and tear. I.e. “It fell off the table and smashed”. DON’T say “I’m not sure exactly when it happened, I only noticed it last week, I think I may have knocked it but I do it so often, it’s hard to tell what actually cracked it”. You may be describing the same incident, but one will get a much easier path the other they will try and claim that as ‘wear and tear’ to get out of the claim.
• Don’t dither about the timing. It seems this is one of the main contributing factors to the ‘wear and tear’ ruling. So phone up as soon as it happens to avoid being suckered.

As I say, this is my first experience so maybe this is just how it is. Heaven knows how much I’ve paid for insurance over the years and it’s dawning on me just why the insurance sector is so well paid.

It seems I’m not alone either… oh dear. Average of 1.3 out of 5.

Still, look on the positive side, I did learn something today. The Listening Company is an oxymoron.

As the old saying goes, “none of us are perfect, but some are not as not perfect as others”. Ok, maybe I could have said that a little better but it serves my purpose. Just a little bit of time would have made that much better and arguably, made all the difference.

You often come accross everyday situations or objects that make you frustrated with their ‘design’. Milk cartons that squirt at you when you open them, road signs that make no sense, door handles on a door you can only push, cupboard doors that won’t open when the fridge is open. Small stuff but important stuff.

It always makes me think of how it came to be and it’s down to caring. If you want something to be right, chances are you’ll find a way. If you want someone to understand your message, you’ll spend time making sure it makes sense. Even basic presentations show this point. If you truly want your audience to understand you, have fun and feel energised, it will show in the final presentation. A bad presentation shows a lack of respect for your audience in my opinion. Design is no different. It physically hurts when I spot a typo in a blog post I’ve just published! What will people think of me, will it make them respect the information less?

Ok, I’m a bit of an information design leftie and I’m sure I’ve made a load of gaffs along the way (and still do) but the point stands. I constantly question everything. I always want to understand why it went wrong, why it went right. What can be improved? Did my audience enjoy it? Did they find it easy? Did they feel cared for? While we can’t test everything on our given audience, we also don’t have to throw each experience away either. It’s frustrating when creatives fail to realise the value to be had by stopping and questioning their work and the work of everyone around. It’s like some people “play with pretty pictures” and it never sinks in. When they use red, they use it because it look nice. When I use red, I question whether this aggressive, fast, strong colour may have the wrong effect on the audiences reactions to a brand.

It’s the same old thing… care for your audience and your design will shine.

In the last few weeks, I’ve seen 5 good examples…

The icon means it's a bit of everything so what is there 30% chance of?

Explosives generally aren't funny but this sign is funny. Why would the police feel comfortable with a sign that makes them look silly? Come to think of it, why do they need it? It's not like they're going to get a parking ticket.

After a bad help experience, my bank asked why they didn't answer my question? What am I supposed to say here? It's like an infinite loop.

A credit card start date in 1959? And it got though the QA process? Very sloppy.

A typo on a Northern Line tube carriage display? Really?

Spotted this example of how NOT to package a kids plush (Peppa Pig) while out shopping with my kids. Bonkers. All the wrong messages. I can only assume it was an in-store ‘upgrade’ and not an official design (judging by the example in the background). Poor thing.

Everyone knows every part of Microsoft Office is terribe. It’s well documented so I won’t launch into a rant here. However, couldn’t help notice it being extra useless the other day. I was emailing a colleague about an updated Powerpoint presentation and started my email …

Just made an amend to the ‘intro’ section.

Nothing weird about that except that Word underlined the words ‘an amend’ and helpfully offered that my grammar was incorrect. It suggested swapping the words around, so now I had.

Just made amend an to the ‘intro’ section.

It then underlined ‘an’ suggesting I consider substituting it with ‘a’. So now I have…

Just made amend a to the ‘intro’ section.

Then it stopped underlining things, seemingly happy with the result. I believe the correct response using todays grammar would be, WTF?